Chapter 2 and 3

Chapter 2: Flu day.


After doing extensive research; which I wished I knew back in 2007. As we have discussed there is a such thing about workplace bullying. Six months into working at HT; I got the flu. I thought I was being a good worker by suffering through and going to work. At the time, I knew I was sick but wasn't aware that I had the flu. I was also up for my six month review. So my boss asked me to meet her at the office. I walked in and "Alan" immediately says, "Ewww, are you going to market looking like that"? I said to him well I don't feel well. He said to me I am not sure what kind of impression you would be making for HT. I would not want you to go out representing our company looking like that. These were just a few of the comments Alan took pleasure into saying to me. I ended up going home that day and went to Quick Care with a 104 temperature. I went to Alan’s manager with my boss to discuss his comment and if I thought I was going to get support from her as a professional; boy I was fooled. Instead, her reply was “ I am sure Alan didn’t mean it like you took it”. First time, I tried to bring his behavior to the higher ups this is what I get! I am not one to judge and if a person claims to be a good Christian then that is great. I just have a hard time with someone who brings up Jesus every time you turn around and then is cruel to others. This was Alan’s way of doing things. So that being said, he had most everyone in upper management fooled. He would just quote some scripture and they were sure he was a good person. Beware though; the Bible says that even Satan could quote scripture. It does make you wonder, doesn’t it? It couldn’t be him and I was just misunderstanding his meaning those were the exact words from his bosses. This goes to show what kind of person I was dealing with. He was smart and he knew how to work people. Instead of being concerned for me he took every opportunity to make me feel less than. I realize now that he had major inferiority issues and for whatever reason; I was a threat to him. The best defense to people like him is to give immediate feedback. I should have said, "Alan, I am not feeling well today but I feel like you are criticizing my physical appearance, am I hearing you right". People like "Alans" are cowards and once confronted will back down quickly. If problem persists make sure you document and take it up the chain of command. If you go to their manager and you don’t get results you think are appropriate then document and go directly to the HR manager. Don’t be like me and hope that the situation will fix itself because it won’t. Make sure you keep detailed and accurate records about all of their comments. I didn’t have the adequate support from upper management and I was told by the owner “to duke it” out with Alan. As you can see, there was an intense lack of support from upper management.

Chapter 3: Facts about workplace bullying.
According to Moira Jenkins author of “Is mediation suitable for workplace bullying”, there is no uniform definition of workplace bullying. In Europe they have started putting firm definitions in place to combat the expense to corporations that workplace bullying causes. “Unlike normal conflict, bullying is viewed in this way as an escalating process where the target is placed in a more and more inferior position to the bully,” (Jenkins, 2011). In my situation, the problem would cycle. It would escalate and then calm down. For whatever reason, Alan had me convinced that he had influence over my job. Even though I knew he was viewed as my peer; I thought that upper management put more credence in his opinions than they did mine. I was a marketing rep and that meant I needed to be out in the field to market our company. The first year that I was at HT; during the month of October Alan had called me in to “answer” the phones a total of ten days. Because of me be out of the field this affected my numbers and then he would then call my boss and tell her he believed I wasn’t really working.
“According to the WBI, 35 percent of U.S. workers have experienced workplace bullying firsthand- that translates to more than 53 million people.” (Walter, 2013). This means that workplace bullying is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment. I had other jobs before HT and I had coworkers that I didn’t particularly like but we were professional and avoided each other. When I figured out that Alan had a problem with me; I thought it would be like the rare situations that I had before. I figured we would be cordial to each other and then avoid each other. He wouldn’t let me avoid him and he made sure he was in my face or on the phone checking up on me every chance he got. I didn’t do my research when I worked at HT if I had I might have been properly educated on workplace bullying. Hindsight is definitely 20/20! “Workplace bullying is becoming a core issue for the organizations now a days. Employers and management scholars are paying lot of attention towards effective dealing of bullying. Bullying reduces the organizational performance by effecting the employee performance through both absenteeism and employee turnover from the organization”(Rasool, Arzu, Hasan, Rafi, & Kashif, 2013). The first year at HT, I used every one of my sick days. I had accrued ten sick days and they were used. I was so stressed that my immune system was down. This was very unproductive for me and my employer. If the situation was addressed in the way that it needed to be then I would have never used my entire sick days.

Prologue of my book and chapter 1

“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Prologue:


Over 7 1/2 years ago, I walked into a new place of employment. Immediately I could tell the branch manager named Alan hated me. For the next 5 1/2 years this man made my professional life hell. I tried to be a professional and let many incidents slide but after a while it became almost unbearable. There were many days that I would go home in tears and on Sunday nights; I would dread Monday like a child would dread going back to school. It took some years for me to realize that this wasn’t the “norm” and most people didn’t feel constantly attacked by their coworker. After I left HT(company), I thought of a nifty title of a book. "Everybody has an Alan". This would be a handbook to let others know how to deal with that bitch of a boss, cranky coworker, or the know it all Nicki’s. I wrote many psych papers on Alan's behavior and decided for my capstone project that I would create the actual book. Workplace bullying is a serious issue but not acknowledged by many corporations in the United States. As adults we are expected to meet those that we don’t jive with and we know that not everyone is always going to like us but when do we accept that we are being bullied instead of it being just a simple “clash of personalities”?
Chapter 1: What bullying means.
The definition of work place bullying is “include, but is not limited to, spreading malicious rumors, gossip, or innuendo that is not true; excluding or isolating someone socially; undermining or deliberately impeding a person’s work; physically abusing or threatening abuse; removing areas of responsibilities without cause; constantly changing work guidelines or establishing impossible deadlines that will set up the individual to fail; under work – creating a feeling of uselessness, belittling a person’s opinions, blocking applications for training, leave or promotion, and various others(Chekwa & Thomas,2013). To break this down for you what this means is if a person constantly belittles you in front of coworkers, says negative things about you or your appearance, then chances are you are being bullied. If this continues over an extensive period of time then you are being bullied. I know when I started working for HT, Alan would constantly put down any idea I had but his ideas were always better. Before I left HT, I was at the top of my game. I had several record months and a coworker overheard Alan telling one of his followers that “30 O2’s a month is a fluke” and he doesn’t care who it is. The last office meeting that I attended instead of congratulating me on a job well done; he congratulated the office for their timeliness on getting the referrals in and done. He made sure he never complimented or congratulated me on a job well done. My bullying didn’t just come from Alan it came from those that were working for him. He would constantly demean me and try to discredit me. He would devalue my position at the company and his attitude spread like wildfire. Pretty soon I was public enemy number 1. I have several situations that constantly continued to build throughout the years and it would come to a boiling point several times.

Unit 9 Blog

Poor communicators or Know it all Nikki's???

Of course I am a big communicator; my degree is in communication plus I work sales.  You have to be a communicator.  Today was a bad day at work for me.  Everyone knows I sort have an Alan here at my current job but she is more of a "know it all Nikki".  I have realized her lack of communication is really offensive to me since we are supposed to be partners.  I don't understand her over aggressive behavior and her general attitude towards me.  Today EVERYTHING came to a head.  I provided immediate feedback like I have been preaching and if I expected the light bulb to go off; boy was I in for a rude awakening.  Isn't that how it always goes?  You have this perfectly prepared speech and it isn't received like you expected.  I expected to say my peace and her to apologize.  Instead she feigned innocence and made a comment like, "well I am sorry you feel that way".  I even gave specific examples because I have been in situations in the past where I have been asked to give examples and I choked.

I told her that I felt like that she didn't respect me as a professional and that she was supposed to be my partner.  I told her that she doesn't treat me that way.  Here are the examples and very well thought if I say so myself.

1)  We were supposed to order marketing materials for our office.  I was under the impression that we would order for ourselves.  She didn't consult with me as to what I needed and she ordered without my opinions. I have been in marketing over 15 years and I know what I like.  She could have given me a courtesy call.

2) She set up a meeting for the both of us and the called me after the fact.  I informed her that I was busy and that wouldn't work for me.  She then had to call the person back to switch times.  Would it not have been easier to call me to see when I was available and then scheduled the meeting.

3)  The first day she started the job I had been here a month.  She went to a lunch with me and completely took over.  I could barely get a word in edge wise.  I had already established a rapport with this account and her overbearing attitude set me back a couple of weeks.

4)  We had a joint meeting with a company that was going to send us business she completely took over the meeting and it got to a point where someone from that company pulled me aside and asked if she was my boss.  I said no she isn't.

We are supposed to be together and teammates but instead she acts like she is my competitor.  I don't think there is an "I" team.

My Book Cover

     Everybody has an Alan.

                                                   

         A handbook for dealing with cranky co workers.

Podcast site

I started my own podcast site. http://crankycoworkerssuck.podbean.com/

Podcasts

https://auphonic.com/blog/2013/02/07/how-to-podcast-for-free/  I like this how to because it gives you step by step on how to podcast and embed it in your blog.  I liked it because it lists everything step by step.  It is very simple.